Crossing the Line
by Merel
Summary: Chapter Thirteen now posted. Summary -- Sometimes it's better to quit while you're ahead. This story takes place approximately six months after Puratory. Beware, ahead lies mature folk doing mature things to each other w/ accompanying descriptive language
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One - Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry**

Alex watched as her partner walked from the break-room back to his desk, noticing the swagger in his step as he tossed a Zero candy bar high into the air with his right hand and caught it behind his back with his left.

She narrowed her eyes, wrinkling her nose. _Show-off._

A trickle of guilt worked its way down her spine. Even though she was still angry at Bobby, she shouldn't begrudge him the happiness of having finished six months back at MCS. Besides, they'd closed a record number of cases in that time, and Bobby had bent over backwards to make sure she got more than her fair share of the glory. Hell, the contortions the man had done to get her to forgive him made Cirque Du Soleil look like a bunch of hippos on bungee cords. The man's ego might be gargantuan, but it was also limber.

Alex really didn't want to be petty. He'd apologized-many times and in many ways. He was constantly trying to make amends. He brought her coffee, every morning. And not that cheap shit from a vendor, but a Starbucks' Venti Mocha, with extra whipped cream. He'd always grabbed the tab for lunch and taxis and had even asked her out for drinks last Friday evening. Okay, it had been a tad bit rude for her to decline the offer by citing an overwhelming need to shave her legs, but forgiveness came slowly for Alex. "Forgive" and "forget" were two words that did not go well with her Irish temper.

She knew in her heart that it was only a matter of time before the happiness of having him back as her partner would wear down the brittle shell of indifference she was using to keep him at arm's length. She was trying valiantly to hold on to the anger, but Bobby Goren, while a thoughtless son-of-a-bitch, was also a man of many charms . . . most of which she was sadly susceptible to.

While Alex tried hard not to let her simmering resentment impact on her work with him on cases, she wasn't a saint, and passive-aggressive behavior was one dish she knew how to cook and serve. These days, she was down to simply poking her partner with a verbal sharp stick once or twice a day just to keep him off balance. In fact, when she was being honest with herself, Alex was really just waiting for him to grow a spine and ask her to stuff it. At that point, she figured things would be back to normal. She hadn't figured it would go on this long, but, hey, if he was willing to be her personal verbal punching bag, far be it for her to argue.

Alex toyed with the collar of her vermillion silk blouse and watched as her partner plopped down into his chair across from her and started to tear open the candy bar's wrapper. Raising a finely arched brow, she let out a little huff.

Bobby's hands stilled instantly and his gaze darted in her direction. Alex tried unsuccessfully to stop the small smirk that quirked the corner of her mouth. His balls were still hers. The power made her feel a bit giddy. "You gonna eat that?" she gestured at the candy bar with a sharp jerk of her chin.

Her partner's eyes widened, flashing back and forth between Alex and the candy bar in question. She could almost see the little hamster spinning the wheels of his giant brain as Bobby frantically tried to search out the 'right' answer to give her_. _"Um, I, ah . . . well, yes, I . . . I was planning to." He looked down at the candy bar once more before looking up at Alex and nodding once.

_Nice try, Bub, but no cigar. _

"Really? Well, okay then." She tilted her head slightly, allowing her gaze to drift slowly down over his body, until the desk blocked her view. She watched as he straightened his shoulders and attempted to suck in his stomach. She flashed an innocuous little smile at him and looked back down at the file open in front of her. _Hmmmm, the report is back on the seagull droppings and fly larvae collected in the McPherson case. Interesting!_

Alex could see Bobby's hands in the upper part of her field of vision and watched as he fidgeted with the candy bar.

"Do you want it?" He asked softly.

She looked up to see his arm stretched across his desk, the candy bar in the palm of his hand, a hopeful yet nervous look on his face.

Alex shook her head. "No. No thanks."

His hopeful yet nervous expression changed to confused and anxious in two-seconds flat. She smiled at him again and looked back at her file. _Who knew seagulls ate mice? Maybe I need to get one for my apartment. Miss Kitty's doing squat about the vermin population._

Again Bobby's hands fidgeted with the candy bar, turning it over and over.

"You don't think I should eat this?"

She looked up again, noting that he sounded a bit peeved. _Oh, gonna try to wrestle one those hairy boys out of my grasp, huh? Not. So. Fast. _"Goren, I'm not your nutrition consultant. You're a . . . _big _boy. You can make your own food choices."

Bobby leaned forward, his eyes narrowing on her. "What do you mean by that?"

Alex sniffed. "You heard what I said. Now I need to get back to this file, if you don't mind."

"Are you saying I'm _fat_?" He glanced around the room, noticing more than few interested spectators listening in on their conversation. His face turned a not so attractive shade of red and he glared back at her.

Alex slapped the file closed. "I never said you were _fat_. I merely asked you if you were going to eat that candy bar. "

"You said, and I quote, 'You're a BIG boy.'" He snarled at her.

_Okay, fine, the snarl earned you one ball back, but I'm keeping the other as a nick-knack. It goes with my couch. _Alex shrugged. "I don't believe I said it _quite _that way, but yes." At his open-mouthed look of horror, she continued. "Well, you are . . . a big boy."

"I'm not a boy," Bobby growled. "I'm a man."

_Not until you get that other ball back, Buster. _"Semantics, Goren, but fine, you're a big _man_. I was just thinking that with all the time off you'd let yourself go to seed a bit, that's all."

"To seed?"

_Who knew Bobby was a soprano._

Again she shrugged, the muscles in her neck tightening. Hard as Alex tried, and she did try, the words came tumbling out, propelled by the remnants of her anger. "Yes, you know, out of shape. Not fat, really, but maybe a little tubby?"

"Tub-" Bobby swallowed his retort and threw himself back in the chair, the hinges squealing their complaint. Bobby sat there for a few moments, his arms crossed across his chest, his gaze leveled at his partner.

Alex bit down on her lower lip. She knew she'd gone too far this time. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, only to tweak them a bit. But she'd put her foot into it big time and she steeled herself for the backlash of her partner's temper.

It never came.

He just sat there, arms crossed over his chest, like he was protecting all his vital organs from her wrath. He sat there and watched her and for the first time in a long time she found she couldn't met his eyes. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and glanced down at the closed file.

"Bobby-"

"No, you're right, Eames. I **have** let myself go." He lurched to his feet and used the candy bar to sink a three-pointer into the garbage across the room. "I appreciate you letting me know."

She lifted her eyes to his, hoping the regret showed in her face, because she knew her pride just wasn't going to let her apologize.

"You know, I think I'm going to call it a day and head home." He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and shrugged into it. "Have a good night, Alex, see you Monday."

She watched his retreating form and the lump she'd just swallowed settled into the pit of her stomach and turned into a big, fat rock.

**To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - Digging Your Grave With a Knife and Fork**

As he entered his apartment, Bobby tossed his house keys into the aboriginal wooden bowl on the table next to the door. He paused for a moment, his gaze sweeping to the mirror that hung over the table. The reflection that looked back at him caused his shoulders to slump.

Alex had been right. He'd allowed himself to go to seed.

He ran a hand through his shaggy salt and pepper curls, trying to remember the last time he'd had a hair cut. He ran the same hand along his jaw, scratching at the two-day growth of beard on his chin.

Looking down at himself, Bobby patted his stomach and grimaced. A good thirty pounds had been packed onto his frame since his suspension and reinstatement. It wasn't like it had snuck up on him; that he hadn't realized he'd gained some weight. It had just been too easy to discount as his age catching up to him. But this was more than age, this was neglect.

He pushed his gut out as far as he could and took another look in the mirror.

"Dear God," Bobby mumbled. "I look like Eames did just before she delivered." He brought his hands up, fingers interlaced to rest on the top of his stomach, as he'd seen his partner do many times during her pregnancy. "Goren, this is disgusting."

He let out a heavy sigh and turned away from the mirror, his eyes canvassing the landscape of his apartment. His body wasn't the only thing that had taken a turn for the worse since his suspension.

He grimaced as he took in the empty beer cans and take-out Chinese food containers that littered his couch, coffee table, and floor. A two foot high stack of magazines listed dangerously to the right beside the leather recliner, crowned with a venti Starbuck's coffee cup that was so old that the remnants of its contents were beginning to seep through the bottom. The pièce de résistance was the mummified remains of what appeared to be a half eaten pizza, stuffed under the side table by the recliner. Well, that and the fact that he couldn't tell if his carpet was beige or brown.

Bobby felt a gray cloud of depression shifting over him, but he straightened his shoulders and pushed it away. Something had to be done, and it had to be done now. He knew that Alex's comments had only been her most recent attempt at retaliation over his perceived betrayal of their partnership. But he also realized that she'd had a pretty big target to aim at, what with his expanding girth and overall lack of attention to grooming and wardrobe.

Nope, as much as it stung him, Bobby couldn't blame her for taking this most recent shot. In fact, for that and all the rest of the crap she'd been giving him over the last six months, he had nobody to blame but himself.

He'd put up with it, because he knew she felt he had betrayed her-betrayed their partnership. She just didn't understand the desperation that had led him to his choice to keep her out of the loop on his undercover operation. She didn't get that she was one of the main reasons he'd made the decision he had. Bobby had known the undercover job was his only hope to get back to his job-and to his partner. He'd also known that he had one shot; he couldn't afford to mess it up. Breaking the rules had gotten him where he was. Walking the straight and narrow line that Ross and the Chief of Ds had set for him was the only way back - to One PP and to Alex.

He turned back to look at the man staring at him from the mirror and in a brief moment of clarity that only comes while viewing the ruins of one's life and the destruction of their waistline, Bobby Goren knew what he had to do.

Yes. Robert Goren was going to get his groove back**.**

**To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting.

Chapter Three – Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

The damp towel hit the center of his desk about two seconds before Bobby Goren dropped into his chair.

"Do you mind?" Alex reached across her desk to poke at the offending hunk of terry-cloth with her pen. "I'd rather my workspace didn't smell like a men's locker room."

"It doesn't smell." Bobby grabbed the towel up folding it and putting it into his gym bag which sat next to his chair. "I only used it to dry my hair after my shower."

Alex gave herself a mental shake, trying to dislodge the image of a naked, soapy, showering Bobby Goren that had suddenly hijacked her frontal lobe. "Didn't you work-out yesterday at lunch? Aren't you supposed to, you know, skip a day in between?"

Bobby zipped the gym bag closed and pushed it under his desk. "Yes, and yes you should. Yesterday was lower body, today was upper." As if in explanation he curled his left arm, his bicep bulging against the Egyptian cotton of his shirt sleeve. "When ever you work a group of muscles, you need to give them at least 24 hours to replenish the proteins and for the muscle fibers themselves to heal."

"Riiiight." Alex drawled, finally slamming shut the shower door on the Mr. Zestfully Clean. "Thank you, Jack LaLanne."

Goren, totally missing, or perhaps ignoring, her snarky tone, simply nodded. "The Godfather of Fitness. I'll take that as a compliment."

_It's never fun when the snark falls flat._

She sighed in defeat. "Sure, Bobby, you're right up there with fitness' own James Brown," she muttered. The rat bastard was not taking the bait. She eyed Bobby as he shrugged into his suit jacket, noticing, not for the first time in the last few weeks, that her partner had been indulging himself at the Armani Exchange. _He's worse than my mother with QVC._

Alex glanced down at her notes from the mornings' witness interviews, trying not to appear as if she were gawking at her partner. She gave up after a few moments and returned to unabashedly gawking.

She really couldn't get over the transformation. Bobby had to have lost at least twenty pounds in the last month and half. And she'd bet a month's salary that he was dying his hair, as there seemed to be far more pepper than salt in his now neatly groomed curls. _Note to Self: Must remember to search for Grecian Formula when next at his apartment._

She had to admit, the new jacket was attractive; tailored perfectly for his broad shoulders, tapering nicely at the waist. Chewing the thumbnail of her right hand she watched as Bobby hitched his foot up onto his chair, retying the laces of his Gucci shoes. As the fabric of his trousers stretched against his backside, Alex's eyes widened and she found she needed to use the thumb she was now gnawing on to wipe off a bit of drool from the corner of her mouth.

She was suddenly taken back to almost eight years ago when she'd first met Detective Robert Goren. They'd been introduced by their Captain and he'd fumbled his portfolio in an attempt to shake hands with her. When he'd bent to retrieve it she'd been afforded her first view of what could arguably have been the best ass in the NYPD. _And Olivia Benson can just go fuck herself; bald might be beautiful but a good ass could get you through the night._

It was at that exact moment that Bobby chose to take his attention away from his now perfectly tied shoe and focus it on his partner. Their eyes met and held for what seemed like an eternity. He gave Alex a soft smile and somewhere, deep inside, the tiny knot of anger and resentment she'd been fighting so hard to hold on to simply dissolved. She could almost feel it unraveling and untangling and leaving in its place a feeling of warmth and peace that made her press her hand to her stomach as she let out a little sigh. It was either that or the bean burrito she'd had for lunch. Ever the optimist, Alex preferred to believe that it was simply time to forgive Bobby_._

For the first time in over seven months, Alex truly smiled at her partner. She saw his eyes widen a bit and realized that this feeling, whatever it was, must have shown on her face. She reached a hand out towards him, feeling an overwhelming need for physical connection. "Bob—"

"Bobby Goren!"

Both Alex and Bobby turned toward the woman who had begun hailing him from the elevators. It was Estelle Rambino from the accounting department, all five foot eleven inches of her, striding toward them with a very determined look on her face. Alex scowled as the woman proceeded to drop her ample rump onto the corner of her Partner's desk. The scowled darkened as Miss Rambino grabbed Bobby's tie in her well-manicured hand and reeled him in to her.

_Figures, the one day he doesn't wear that butt-fugly tie clip._

"Bobby Goren, did you forget you were going to call me?"

With his silk neck tie near to strangling him, Bobby's eyes darted to Alex then back to Estelle. "Ah, no, I . . . I haven't forgotten."

"Well, that's good." Estelle smiled. "I was beginning to worry you were gonna break your promise to me."

Bobby managed to get his hand around the upper part of his necktie and wrestled the rest of the fabric from Estelle's grasp. Running a finger inside his collar he cleared his throat and took a deep breath before answering the woman. "No, of course not. A promise, well, is a promise."

Alex could tell that he was studiously avoiding looking over at her.

Estelle picked off an invisible piece of lint from Bobby's shoulder and flicked it in Alex's direction. She ran a blood red manicured fingernail along his jaw and leaned in to him, giving Bobby and the rest of the squad room a nice view of her La Perla push-up bra. "Well, I just wanted to make sure. That and I wanted to well . . ." she glanced over at Alex from the corner of her eye then back at Bobby. In a stage whisper she continued, "I just wanted to thank you for the other night. You were fabulous."

Alex sat back in her chair. Had she really just gasped? Out loud? She was hoping that it had been the squeak of her chair and not her intake of breath that had pulled both Bobby and Estelle's attention to her. She could almost feel the blood draining from her face, as Estelle's words rang in her ears.

_Thank you for the other night. You. Were. Fabulous. _

Her eyes flickered to Bobby's face, which appeared nearly as ashen as hers. Actually he looked a bit shell-shocked, while a quick glance at Estelle showed simply smug satisfaction.

_Satisfaction? Yeah, right._

Alex let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding, realizing that if she didn't get out away quickly there was a good chance she'd reach over and knock that simpering smile off of Ms. Rambino's face.

"Well, these notes aren't going to file themselves," Alex laughed weakly. "If you'll excuse me." She lurched from her chair and headed for the bank of filing cabinets across the room, hoping that her gait appeared steadier than it felt.

Pulling a drawer opened, she leaned into it trying to get her hands to stop shaking. Suddenly something her mother had often told her flashed through her mind.

_Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it._

Well, she'd desperately wanted her partner back the way he was before the mental anguish of his mother, brother and nephew had taken their toll on him. She couldn't remember the number of times she'd harkened back to the "good old days" to charming, crazy, Bobby. The best damn detective the MCS ever had and the heart-throb of the steno pool.

Well, the joke certainly was on her, as it looked like she'd gotten her wish.

**To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four – In a State of Perpetual Anesthesia

Bobby ended his evening run early, a light rain encouraging him to take a shorter route. Even cutting his workout in half however, he'd managed to work off a bit of the tension that had built throughout the day.

As he pushed through the last half mile and thought about work and how things had been going well lately. For the first time in more months than he cared to remember, Bobby was actually feeling like his old self. It hadn't been easy to shake off the depression that had clouded his life since his mother had become ill, but during his suspension he'd had to face a cold, stark reality; that if he didn't get control of his life his career would be over and with it the one good, true relationship he had left . . . Eames.

Alex's image popped into his mind and he couldn't help but smile -- streaked hair falling into sparkling brown eyes, a hint of stubbornness along the chin, and a petite frame the belied a fierceness of spirit that could bring men twice her size to their knees. The thought of her stirred something in him . . . something he wasn't quite ready to investigate too deeply. The longing he'd felt for her during his time away the force had been a turning point for him. He'd used it as catalysis for change, but the idea of analyzing his feelings beyond that made him skittish. No use looking for trouble. For right now he was just happy to be back at work and back at her side.

The skies opened up just as Bobby got to his apartment building and his last few loping strides brought him under the entrance canopy. Before entering the lobby, Bobby shook the moisture from his hair and finished off the bottle of water he was carrying. He pushed the large glass door open, moving to toss the empty bottle into the recycling bin by the guard's desk.

"Evenin', Mr. Goren." Charlie McGrath, the night attendant greeted his arrival with a wave. "Terrible night for a run, heh?"

Bobby bent over, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "Not the best, but I managed to get in four miles."

The older man eyed him speculatively. "You training for some race?"

Bobby straightened, pulling the armband that held his ipod off his right bicep and wrapping the ear buds securely around them. "Race? No." He shook his head. "Why?"

Charlie shrugged. "Just see you running almost every night. Though maybe you were in training for something."

Bobby smiled. "No. Just trying to get into shape."

The guard patted his considerable paunch and chuckled. "Well, I already got a shape. Round."

Bobby laughed and turned towards the elevators.

"Oh, Mr. Goren, almost forgot. There was a young lady here earlier, lookin' for you."

"Really?" He tilted his head, gazing back at the man. He pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his running shorts and flipped it open. "Couldn't have been my partner, she'd have called me."

"You're partner a tall brunette?"

"Ah, no," Bobby smiled. "Neither."

"Well, this woman was quite a looker, with quite an attitude. Seemed upset you weren't home. I asked if she wanted to leave you a note, but she said no."

Bobby nodded, running his hand along his jaw as he pondered who his visitor might have been. For a brief moment he thought it might have been Alex and his stomach had flip-flopped. Strange, a few years ago the idea of a tall brunette with attitude showing up at his door would have been enthralling . . . these days he'd have much rather it been a petite blonde with a propensity towards snark.

**xxxoooxxxooo**

Alex glanced at the clock as her partner exited the elevator. Forty-five minutes late. She frowned, watching as a bleary Bobby shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the back of his chair.

He sat down in his chair, stifling a yawn, his gaze at last focusing on the steaming cup of coffee that sat in front of her. Alex had seen the longing in those brown eyes before and she raised a brow.

"Late night?"

"Hmmm?" Bobby lifted his eyes to hers and fought off another yawn. "Oh, yeah, kind of."

Alex tried to keep her tone neutral but knew it skittered on the edge of acidic. "Another hot date with Miss Rambo?" The thought made her stomach clench.

Bobby shook his head. Alex couldn't tell if he was refuting her or simply trying to loosen the cobwebs in his brain. "It's Rambino, and it wasn't a date. I just helped her with something."

Alex narrowed her eyes at him. She's seen the way that woman had leaned into him, the conspiratorially tone of her voice. And he was just helping her with something? i_eah, probably right out of that porn-star bra and panty set._

She gave Bobby what she hoped appeared to be an innocuously sweet smile. She knew that it was really none of her business, and yet, it felt like it was. "Oh, really? With what?"

Bobby's eyes hardened a bit and Alex drew back in her chair. Goren without the benefit of his morning caffeine. Maybe she'd chosen a bad time to push this issue.

"I helped her install a hard drive." He opened up his folio and bent to the task of making some notes in the calendar section.

Alex's mouth fell open as she stared at the top of his head._ Oh, I bet you installed something hard. Oh. My. God. He did not just say that with a straight face. _Ignoring the small voice in her head that was telling her to back off, she opened her own calendar. "You're moonlighting in IT now?"

Bobby looked up at her from under his lashes then back to his notebook. She watched as the grip on his pen tightened. "No. She just happened to mention she was having some problems with her computer and I offered—"

"To help." Alex snipped, her annoyance getting the better of her. "How gallant of you."

Bobby tossed his pen onto the desk and looked over at her. He definitely looked like he was running short of about 4 hours of sleep and two cups of coffee. "Did I do something wrong? Am I missing something here? Why the third-degree on this?"

Alex shrugged, going for nonchalance and not quite hitting the mark. She knew by the way Bobby was looking at her now, his head titled, lips pursed, that he was trying to figure her out. She'd become a puzzle and that was never good. Especially not now, when she didn't even know why she was so annoyed with him.

She looked away from his intent gaze, fingering the torn edge of her daytimer. "It's not the third-degree, Bobby, I was just . . . curious. You hadn't mentioned seeing anyone . . . not that you had to, or anything . . . but it just seemed like things were, um, ah . . . and then Rambo waltzes over—"

"Rambino." Bobby murmured, his head tilting in the other direction as he watched her stumble and stammer.

"_Whatever_." Alex felt the heat spread from her chest up her neck and to her face. "It just seemed like maybe you two were . . . and I was just . . . I mean, not that I . . . What? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Bobby watched her a bit longer and just as she was about to reach over and slap him, he smiled. A sweet, small smile that grabbed her by the heart.

"I think I understand." He nodded as if he had just unraveled the mysteries of the universe. "You're jealous."

**To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five – That Make a Grown Man Cry**

The minute the words were out of his mouth Bobby regretted them. Confronting Eames had never been his intention. Hell, coming any where near the tangled web of his emotions regarding his partner was the farthest thing from his mind when he'd walked into the office that morning. All he'd really wanted was to make it to his desk and a cup of hot coffee.

He'd been up nearly all night. Seemed his new next door neighbor's idea of romance consisted of burning some extremely funky incense and singing "Back in the Saddle Again" at the top of his lungs. Add to that a dozen or so hang-up calls that seemed to magically coincide exactly with those few moments that Gene Autry was otherwise occupied and all and all the night had been a complete bust.

He'd showered, managed to shave with only some minor blood letting, and arrived at the office. Paradise was only a few feet and some non-diary creamer away when Eames had started in on him. She'd been like a little terrier whose favorite bone was stolen. She just kept coming at him about Miss Rambino. Bobby felt the tension rising, running up his spine and into his shoulders and neck. At the point where he was sure he bore an uncanny resemblance to the Hunchback of Norte Dame and he began to contemplate whether Eames would actually **fit** into one of the lockers in the break room he knew he had to say something.

Really, it wasn't his fault. No true jury of his peers would have found him guilty. His defense was solid. A tiny woman armed with the verbal version of a sharp stick had confronted a sleep-deprived detective that had had nothing but a Slim Fast for breakfast and far too little caffeine. The result had been the insertion of said groggy detective's size thirteen shoe in his mouth. A minor offense when one considers what could have happened.

Now, to find a way to pry his foot loose and still retain his dignity … and given the look on Eames face, his balls.

**XXXOOOXXX**

"You're jealous."

Alex heard Bobby say the words, saw them form on his lips as they tumbled across the space between them. In those brief moments as her brain processed what he'd said, Alex took in his knowing look and wanted more than anything to toss this theory of his right back in his face. Unfortunately, he'd caught her dead to rights. She **was** jealous.

As much as Alex loathed to admit it, as much as it confused her and tied her up in knots, she knew that the feelings she had for Bobby were than just those of a partnership, even more than a close friendship.

For months it had confounded her. Why she'd be so very angry with him. Why she hadn't been able to get over his thoughtlessness in leaving her out of the loop on his undercover operation. Slowly she'd come to accept that it wasn't just the betrayal of a co-worker that had hurt her so deeply. It wasn't just some cop that had kept her in the dark and had thought it wasn't necessary for her to know the details of an operation. The person who'd lied to her and put her in the position of holding him at gunpoint wasn't just her partner. It was a man that she'd allowed into her life, into her heart. A man she'd risked opening the wounds of her soul to, and that's why what he'd done had hurt her so badly.

She loved him. And at this moment she hated him for it; almost as much as she hated herself. She hated the weakness and stupidity of falling for her partner – even more, for falling for someone that came with a boat load of troubles and more ticks than the Rocky Mountains. She was some silly rookie, some fresh faced cadet, she knew the score and yet had still allowed this to happen. She been weak and needy, craving this man in a way she hadn't felt since her husband had died.

Alex felt her heart race and knew in that instant that Bobby, the penultimate predator, would sense it, see her weakness, her need, and move in for the kill. She couldn't let that happen. Not here, and certainly not like this. She needed time to think this through, figure out how to get her self out of this mess. She knew there was a way, she just needed to get out of the lion's den and find some room to maneuver.

Taking a deep breath, Alex leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and looked her partner dead in the eye. "You're absolutely right, Bobby, I am jealous."

**To Be Continued**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six – To Tear That Piece of Cloth

"You're absolutely right, Bobby, I am jealous."

While his partner's words reverberated in his ears, Bobby Goren took a moment to wonder what his face must have looked like. The words 'shell-shocked,' 'flabbergasted' and 'dumb-struck' were probably adequate descriptions, given his slack jaw and rounded eyes.

"Ah, you . . . you _are_?" He managed to get those words out rather then those orbiting his brain. _What. The. Fuck. _

Alex's gaze never wavered as she smiled and shrugged. "You got me, Goren. I've been considered the computer guru around here for so long. How was I to know you were actually listening to me when I talked computer geek to you. So, yeah, I'm a little jealous."

Bobby cocked his head, hoping that maybe the different angle would help him decipher what she'd said. Something about computers? About geeks and gurus? It took him almost a full minute before he'd realized she'd opened her daytimer again and was studying it intently. He also realized with more than a little flush of disappointment that she hadn't actually admitted to being jealous. Well, at least not jealous in the way he'd meant it.

He hadn't even really considered that Alex **was** jealous when he'd made the accusation. He just knew saying it would get her goat. Bobby knew his feisty little partner well enough to know that just such an implication would get her sputtering and fuming and calling him a big hulk of male stupidity. It would also throw her off her current quest to annoy the living daylights out of him and then things could go back to normal and he could have his coffee and get down to the business of the day.

But nothing was ever normal for him. Certainly not his relationship with Alex, and now he'd managed to find out exactly how _not_ normal it was.

Bobby had seen the look on Alex's face when he'd accused her of jealousy; that split-second when her defenses were down and her eyes had met his, open and vulnerable. It was like slow motion, watching the realization hit her and then bounce off and hit him. And in that split-second, Bobby knew, with a certainty that made a shiver crawl up his spine, he had stumbled onto a secret. A secret they both seemed to share.

_Well, damn! _

Only he, the great Detective Goren, would wind-up sliding ass-backwards into the fact that his long-time partner was in love with him. He'd been so worried about his own misplaced emotions he'd never even considered if they might be reciprocated. Even now his brain was churning out the possibilities of this situation, good and bad, and he had to rein himself in. Not the time, not the place, and besides, she'd denied it.

Bobby took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes at Alex, watching as her tiny, nimble fingers flitted through the calendar pages, trying not to think about what else those tiny, nimble fingers could do.

_Use the higher head, Goren, not the lower one. You need to focus!_

They didn't have that many cases, so unless Alex's social life had taken a considerable turn for the better -- he didn't even want to think about the ping of jealousy **that** pulled up in him -- she was avoiding him.

He drew himself out of his chair, using his imposing height to lean across the desk. When his shadow fell across her reading material Alex looked up at him through her lashes.

"What?" She snapped.

He gave her a raised brow in answer.

Alex closed the daytimer and gave him her own look of incredulity and repeated, "What? What did you **think **I was jealous of?"

When Bobby's stance and look didn't change Alex huffed out a breath. "Come on, Goren, get real."

"I am real." He continued to stare at her, and for a moment they fought for Alpha position, neither giving an inch. At last Alex looked away, a shaky hand pushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

Bobby smiled, but quickly hid it, rubbing his thumb along his bottom lip. "Mind if I talk with you—"

"We are—"

"—In private." Bobby moved from behind his desk, pushing his chair aside. "Meet me in the break room, Alex."

**XXXOOOXXX**

Alex considered running. She could hit the elevators and be on the street in about two minutes. Bobby would never be able to catch her. Even with his weight-loss and new work-out regime she knew she could outrun the bastard.

But then what? Sooner or later she'd have to face him. Face _it_. And that's what she thought of this whole being in love with her partner. Some big, dark, foreboding _thing_ that was taking her life and twisting it like a pretzel. She definitely didn't want to feel this way, but she couldn't seem to work herself free of it.

Alex scrunched up her face, then heaved a heavy sigh. She needed this stress like she needed a hole in her head. She'd nearly put a hole in Bobby's head in that drug lord's office, now she was reconsidering how bad that really would have been. But yet her chest ached even attempting to joke about it. She didn't want him dead, she just wanted him out of her heart.

_Big old sneaky jerk._

He'd seen right through her subterfuge. Definitely not one of her finer moments, and just as she'd feared, he'd been on her like white on rice.

_Now what?_

The rat bastard was asking her into the break room, for what? So he could let her down easy? Pulling out the psychology text book in his brain to explain how this happened sometimes in partnerships. And to make absolutely sure she understood that in no way, shape, or form did he feel the same way about her as she so obviously felt about him.

It was simple. She would die of humiliation.

Of course, she'd have to kill him first. Alex wasn't going down alone and no way was she leaving Goren alive to spread rumor about her crush on him. Nope, they'd find them both dead, slumped over the coffee machine. Logan would probably have his things in Goren's desk before their bodies were even cold.

Fantasies aside, Alex knew she had to get this over with. Her plan of action was simple. Deny. Deny. Deny. Bobby may know the truth, but he'd never be able to prove it if she could just stay cool. She'd worked with him long enough to see all his tricks. All the little mind-fucks he used to get perps to confess. No way was he going to get to her.

No way.

**To Be Continued**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting. I credit the Armageddon line to my dear friend Mindy ... it was used in her wonderful _Tales of Feldman_, but it's just too good a line to be out-of-print.

Chapter Seven – Six of One, Half Dozen of the Other

Alex entered the break room with what she hoped was an air of indifference. She knew Goren couldn't _really _smell fear, but on the off chance she'd applied just a dab of Dior J'adore before leaving her desk. It never hurt to smell good.

Bobby was at the coffee maker, scooping grounds into the filter from a battered Eight O'clock Coffee tin. He'd rolled up the sleeves of his blue shirt and for a moment Alex was mesmerized by the play of muscles in his forearms and the fabric stretching across the wide expanse of his shoulders. The man had an annoying knack for hitting on all her kinks. Why him? Why not the cute guy in payroll or that archeologist she met last weekend at the corner Starbucks? She could be dating today's version of Indian Jones, but oh, no, she had to fall for The Rain Man.

"You might want to close the door."

Alex literally jerked at the deep timbre of his voice. He hadn't turned; was still carefully preparing the coffee. She looked around just to make sure it wasn't someone else talking – maybe some unseen public service announcer beginning a spiel about workplace romances causing humiliation and unsightly loss of employment.

"You plan on ravishing me?" She led with sarcasm. Just as her father had taught her, the best defense is a good offense.

Bobby turned, leaning back on the counter. "I hadn't planned on it." He paused and tilted his head, his face a blank slate. "At least . . . not at the moment."

_Okay, that was unexpected._

Alex swallowed what felt like a boulder that had lodged in her esophagus and tried not to chew her lower lip off. Bobby settled against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. The Goren Forearm Muscles of Lust called to her again. She feigned indifference and flopped down into one of the chairs at the round table that dominated the center of the room.

"Goren, seriously, what is this all about?"

Bobby pursed his lips and Alex thought he might be holding back a smile. Good, because if he smiled now, she was going to kill him. Seriously. There would be nothing left of him but a large lump of Armani on the break room floor. The man had, at times, the social skills of a three-toed sloth, but Alex trusted him to know that smirking at this point would _not_ be good for his health.

Bobby moved away from the counter and Alex tensed a bit as he approached, relaxing a bit as he moved past her. She turned in her chair and watched with wary eyes as her partner closed the door to the break room. The tiny twist of his fingers and lock's bolt shifting into place elicited a similar twist to Alex's stomach and she felt her heart speed up.

"We have to talk."

His gaze was far more sober than before and there was something there, something lurking behind those dark eyes that Alex couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Yes," Alex answered hesitantly. "You said that before."

Bobby shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and his eyes moved from hers down to the floor. His shoes seemed of sudden interest to him. After a long moment, he looked back up at her. "Something . . . something is happening here." He pulled his left hand out of his pocket and gestured between them.

Alex's eyes rounded, watching as he quite literally stubbed at the floor with the toe of his shoe, his expressive hand moving to rub at his chin. That's when she knew.

_No. No. No. _

Alex felt every muscle in her body tense as she realized what was about to happen. She had to fight off her flight or fight response as her brain worked through exactly why Bobby had asked her into the break room. Bobby didn't suspect that _she_ was in love with him. Oh, no, it couldn't be that straight or simple. No, he suspected _they _were in love with each other.

And as humiliating as the prospect of the former was to Alex, the latter was simply terrifying.

"Something with you . . . well, and me, but . . . well, you **and **me." Goren had continued on, oblivious to the wild-eyed look Alex was giving him.

_Oh, dear god in heaven, make him stop now. _

Alex glanced frantically about the room, searching for something, anything that would shut him up. Maybe if she pulled the fire alarm? Pretended to faint? Shoved a towel in his mouth?

_Why is there never an Armageddon when you really need one?_

This was _not _a good thing and exponentially worse than even the humiliation of unrequited love or lust, or whatever it was feeling for him. **This** was going to require her to face these feelings and talk about things and think about Bobby's feelings, and those were things that Alex did not do. Examining one's feelings never ended well and she'd managed for a good number of years to adhere to that rule.

"Alex? Did you hear me?"

Alex took a deep breath and looked back at Bobby. When her eyes cleared and she once again appeared to be listening to him, he continued. "Alex I need you to know—"

"Nothing," Alex yelped. "You," She pointed a finger at him, "need me to know nothing. And me? I need to know nothing. Really. Absolutely thrilled with the knowing of nothing when it comes to you … and me."

Bobby took a step back, as if retreating from her might calm her down. He frowned and opened his mouth to say something and that's when Alex jumped to her feet, the chair screeching across the linoleum floor.

"Really, Bobby, listen to me," she implored. "Once you say this . . . this _thing_ you're going to say, things will never be the same. Never."

Bobby shook his head, obviously confused. "But it seems like you know what I'm going to say, so aren't things already not the same?"

"No. No, they're the same until we say they aren't. And I'm saying that until you say what you were going to say, then things are the same and we can just go on and walk out of here. And go on. As we were. The same."

Bobby squinted and leaned towards her. "I'm trying to understand this. I really am." He ran an agitated hand through his hair and then gestured to her. "So, even knowing what I'm about to say . . . knowing this, you can walk away and pretend it doesn't matter? Doesn't exist?"

Alex chewed on her bottom lip. She _wasn't _sure of anything at this moment, but she damn well had to make him think she was. It was the only way they were going to walk out of this office with their partnership in one piece and the time she needed to sort out this whole mess. "Yes." She finally said, adding a firm nod of her head.

Bobby's eyes grew cold and he narrowed them a bit. Alex took a step back as she watched him pull himself to his full, incredibly imposing height.

"Well," He replied sharply. "See if you can walk away from _this_."

He was there in two strides, his hands grasping her upper arms to pull her to his chest and before she realized it, Bobby was kissing her. His lips were warm but not in the least bit tender and sliver of a thrill ran down her spine, forcing her up onto her toes and into the kiss.

And just as her brain wrapped around the idea that Bobby Goren was actually kissing her and she was actually kissing him back, suddenly he wasn't and she was watching her partner unlock the door and walk out of the room.

Alex's knees slowly gave out on her and she slipped back into the chair.

"Well, crap."

**To Be Continued**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting.

Chapter Eight - We're Not in the Middle of Nowhere, But We Can See it From Here

By the time Alex got back to her desk, Bobby was nowhere to be found. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or pissed off.

"Alex!"

She turned to see Dan Richardson strolling towards her. A fellow detective for Major Case, Richardson's desk was near her own.

The older man dropped a folder on her desk. "This just came up from the M.E. Oh, and Goren said to tell you he was headed out. Something about doing research and that he might not be back in the office today, but that he'd be home tonight." The detective chuckled and turned toward his own desk. "That hound-dog doesn't have you cookin' dinner for him, does he?"

Alex shook herself out of her stupor. "Right, Dan, that's gonna happen. And you better watch out for those flyin' pigs too." She sat down at her desk, opening the file she'd just been given and hoping her hands weren't shaking too badly.

"Yeah, well," Dan laughed, moving to his own desk. "You're one of the few gals around here that hasn't sopped up your partner's poor, misunderstood loner routine like syrup on pancakes. Good on you!"

"Yeah," Alex forced a chuckle, feigning interest in the DNA report and crime scene photos. "Good on me," she grumbled.

**B&A-B&A-B&A**

Alex paused, her knuckles scant centimeters from rapping on the metal door. She wasn't sure what she was doing at her partner's apartment at eight o'clock on a Friday night, other than she just couldn't face sitting in her own apartment all weekend without resolving the situation with Bobby.

And the "situation" was that Robert Goren had kissed her and she had kissed him back.

She closed her eyes and could still feel his lips on hers. The hold he'd had on her was tight, but Alex could have easily broken it, stepped away. But she hadn't. She'd lost herself in that small moment, mesmerized by the hint of his aftershave, the taste of mint on his breath, and the feel of the cotton of his shirt as both of her hands had fisted the soft material.

It wasn't fair. Why couldn't other men elicit this response in her? Why couldn't she be like everyone else and be attracted to the nice, normal guys that her friends and family were constantly setting her up with.

Oh, no, she has to fall for her totally screwed up, oddball partner. And he had obviously fallen for her too, as his kiss had made perfectly clear.

How could they move on from that? A kiss couldn't be ignored. Especially not _that _kiss. There were tongues involved and everything. And it simply wasn't possible for Alex to ignore tongues. Particularly not Bobby's tongue, what with it being so nimble and long and . . .

_NO! Stop with the tongue porn, Alexandra, enough! _

She needed to talk with Bobby about the kiss. She needed to make him understand that it should _never_ have happened to begin with. Get him to see how they _could_ never, ever allow it to happen again. Her partner was a reasonable man, most times, and Alex was sure she could get him to see how ludicrous it was; how simply ridiculous and utterly stupid and totally crazy it was to even think about having a personal relationship beyond their partnership.

They were just too different. They were like Frick and Frack. Mutt and Jeff. Thelma and Louise. And while these differences made them excellent partners at work, Alex was convinced it wasn't enough to build a personal relationship on, much less one that could cost them both their jobs.

Alex knew that if she could get Goren to agree, then they could simply put this whole situation behind them and move on. With that thought firmly in mind, Alex Eames knocked firmly on Robert Goren's front door.

**B&A-B&A-B&A**

The light rapping at his door drew Bobby's attention away from the book he was reading and he put it down on the side table next to his scotch and soda before approaching and peering through the peep-hole.

He smiled softly, the viewer showing him what he'd expected; his partner, looking extremely nervous, a tiny bit vulnerable, and way too beautiful for her own good. She'd changed into jeans and a red v-neck sweater, so she must have gone home first, but Bobby wasn't the least bit surprised to see her at his door.

He knew Alex well enough to know that she wouldn't be able to just sit back and ignore the kiss he'd given her in the break room. It was one of the reason's he'd kissed her in the first place; to knock her out of her denial. There was no way he was going to let them back away from what was developing between the two of them. He didn't have a clue where this would lead them, but he knew it was a road that needed to be investigated.

At this point in his life, Bobby felt like he'd lost just about everyone he loved, everyone he cared about. His mother, Frank, Donnie . . . they were all lost to him. He just couldn't sit by and let whatever this was he had with Alex disappear. No matter the cost, he was ready to pay it.

Of course, the other reason he'd kissed Alex was that with how hard-headed and stubborn she could be, he didn't know if he'd ever have another chance with her. And Bobby wanted to know . . . no, he _needed_ to know . . . what it felt like to kiss her, what she tasted like.

And now he knew and it still wasn't enough.

He knew how soft and sweet her lips where, how her hair smelled faintly of shampoo and some sultry perfume. He knew all this, but now he needed to know more. He needed to know how her body fit next to his. How she felt in his arms, how she moved under him, over him, around him.

And that was what he was thinking when he threw the door open, pulled Alex inside his apartment and pressed her up against the wall and kissed her again.

**To Be Continued**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting.

Chapter Nine - We Talk About Your Heart, 'Bout Your Brains and Your Smarts

It was strange, because the first thing that assaulted Alex's senses was not the feel of Bobby's mouth on hers. Perhaps it was the surprise of those big hands grabbing her and sweeping her up and off her feet, the shock of the door slamming shut as she was pressed back forcefully into the wall – in any case it was actually the smell of his apartment she was focused on. It touched something visceral in her, something deep and intimate.

Some type of sauce must have been simmering on the stove, as the smell of onions and garlic and oregano brought back to her some very early memories of her childhood; coming home from gymnastics practice, finding her mom cooking dinner for the family. Buttery garlic bread toasting in the oven, meatballs and marinara bubbling away on the stovetop, her father striding into the kitchen, tossing off his jacket and pulling her mother tight to him for a kiss.

These memories melded together with the feel of Bobby's lips moving over hers, his hands on her ribs holding her firmly between his chest and the wall and with a flash of clarity Alex knew she was experiencing something she hadn't in quite a while -- she felt like she was at was, at long last, home.

Safe, secure and cared for in the arms of a man who, while he might not always be able to shelter her from the cruelties of the world, would most certainly give everything in his power to protect her, or die trying.

And she would do the same for him, without a moment's hesitation.

Bobby's hands moved up from her ribs and she realized that he was now supporting her by both breasts. Okay, falling for a guy and knowing you'd die for him was one thing, handing over your tits without even putting up a fight was another. Alex Eames was a lot of things, but she wasn't easy . . . and no way was she making this easy for Bobby Goren. The sneaky bastard had made her fall for him, was able to reduce her to a quivering mass of overly responsive nerve endings whenever his lips came any where near her.

He'd have to pay for that, and pay for it dearly.

Alex resisted the urge to push her breasts more fully into his hands and brought a knee up between his wide-spread legs. Rubbing slowly up his thigh until she at last reached his crotch, she pressed hard against him. The old gray sweats that now hung alluringly low on his hips, exposing a strip of stomach between them and his torn and tattered Hudson University sweatshirt, did little to protect him. Alex felt the muscles of his stomach tense as the pressure she was exerting against his balls moved from erotic to troublingly painful.

Bobby pulled his mouth from hers, ragged breaths fanning her face, his questioning eyes scanning her face.

"You know," Alex asked casually, as if she were not suspended a foot from the ground by her breasts and an expanse of chest that she desperately wanted to run her hands over. "You have some serious issues with personal space."

Bobby's eyes cleared and he slowly raised an eyebrow. He looked down between them at her threatening knee. When his eyes rose to met hers again his voice was husky and low. "It would seem so. What do you plan on doing about it, Eames?" His fingertips moved to caress her nipples through her sweater.

Alex caught a moan in her throat and forced it back down. "Well, another run through the sexual harassment course at work probably wouldn't hurt."

Bobby blinked and Alex could tell that he was trying to rate the seriousness of her statement. She gave him a cocky smirk and the sparkle slowly returned to his eyes.

"You know, I've always been a more hands-on type of student." He bent his head towards her until his lips were almost touching hers. "Why don't you let me know when you start feeling . . . harassed."

Alex watched, mesmerized as Bobby's lips formed the words. The tip of his tongue snuck out to moisten his lower lip and she felt a corresponding tensing in the muscles of her thighs. She closed her eyes waiting for the warmth of his mouth on hers, but Bobby must have taken a sharp turn left and down, because next she knew he was biting softly into the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder.

It was as if there was a direct nerve pathway from her neck to her cunt, and the electric current Bobby's lips were conducting down that pathway had short-circuited every muscle in her body. As his mouth continued its investigation of the soft skin behind her ear, Alex tried to think of all the reasons it was a bad idea to fuck her partner on his living room rug, but they just melted away in the liquid rush between her thighs.

"Bobby," Alex tensed against the feelings coursing through her. It scared her more than she'd like to admit that this man could cause her to lose control so quickly, so completely.

Bobby must have felt her anxiety because he raised his head to look at her. "Don't run away from this, Alex." His eyes left hers to peruse once again the length of her neck.

"I'm not." When he looked back at her and raised a dark brow, she shook her head. "Really, Bobby, I'm not, I just think we need to—"

"Talk? You want to talk . . . _now_?"

**To Be Continued**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting.

Chapter Ten – The Tables Turned

"Talk? You want to talk . . . _now?_" Bobby groaned. He knew that he loved Alex, knew it for a fact, but at this very moment he also knew he wasn't above killing her out of sheer frustration. A true jury of his peers would _never_ convict him.

"Goren," Alex shook her head. "No, I—"

Whatever Alex had meant to say was interrupted by the high-pitched squeak she let loose as Bobby hoisted her up and over his shoulder, giving her ass a sharp slap.

"You're damn right, no." He growled, his long legs carrying them swiftly into his darkened bedroom. He didn't bother turning on the light, the glow of the nearly full moon from his bedroom window provided more than enough illumination for the task at hand.

He tossed her unceremoniously onto his rumpled bed. Standing there, hands on his hips, he stared down at her. "I wanted to talk, remember? I said, 'Alex, we need to talk about this.' But oh no, you didn't want to talk. I tried again, but nope, not happenin'. When you make up your mind you're like a god damn brick wall. Well, the time for talking is over," his hands went to the hem of his sweatshirt and he deftly pulled it up and off and tossing it to the floor.

Alex's eyes followed the garment's descent then settled back on the wide expanse of her partner's naked chest. "Now, Bobby . . . " Alex held up a warning hand, then began to scoot away from the man who was so intently scrutinizing her. The headboard stalled her retreat.

Bobby chuckled, his hands going to the drawstring of his sweatpants. "Well, at least you aren't calling me 'Goren' anymore. That's a good start."

Alex narrowed her eyes at him. "Oh, I' ll be calling you by another name if you keep on with this caveman act of yours."

His eyes glittered and the corner of his mouth quirked into a wolfish grin. "Oh, really, what name would that be, _Alexandra_?"

"How about the _Late_ Robert Goren?" she shot back. She watched as his fingers toyed with the drawstring of his sweatpants. She swallowed and looked back into Bobby's dark eyes. "What is all this? Why are you doing this?"

"Why not?" Bobby frowned. "I want you, Alex, and I know you want me " His voice deepen as he stepped toward the bed, bringing one knee up onto the mattress. "You know, I've always tried to do the right thing, be the good guy, the straight arrow. What's it gotten me?"

Alex's eyes widened. "You're a good man, Bobby, it's one of the reasons I . . ."

"Love me?" He finished for her. He tilted his head watching her intently.

"Yes." She whispered the word, her chin quivering as she blinked back tears.

Bobby's face darkened. "You shouldn't, you know. You shouldn't love me." He moved towards Alex, crawling up to straddle her legs, leaning in, looming over her. His shoulders blocked the moonlight, throwing her face into shadow. This was good; best to confess in darkness.

"I've hurt you, Alex. I'm a thoughtless, selfish bastard and as hard as I'll try not to, I'll probably hurt you again. I fuck up everything. Tarnish everything. If it's good or clean or pure, I manage to chase it away. And if you're a smart woman — and I know you are — you'll get up off this bed and run like hell."

He could hear her breathing, feel the trembling in her legs, but she didn't move.

"Alex—"

"I'm not going to run away. I told you that already." The words were a whisper against his cheek.

For a moment he felt as if he couldn't breathe, like the wind had been knocked out of him. "Alex," he began again but was silenced when Alex's fingers rested against his lips.

"No, enough, Bobby. There's only one thing I need to know." She paused, her fingers caressing his lower lip. "Do you love me?"

Bobby's mouth was suddenly desert dry, this lips unable to form words, so he simply nodded against her fingertips.

Those same fingers traveled to grasp the back of his neck, pulling him down until his lips met hers. It was a soft kiss, gentle and sweet, and when she pulled back and smiled at him, his heart, which he'd thought broken beyond the mending, reformed whole and strong.

Alex gripped the curls at the back of his neck and gave a tug. "You gonna stare at me all night, or are you going to make love to me?"

**To Be Continued**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: **Formatting Issues – text in _italics_ are thoughts, unless it within dialog, and then it's just a form of emphasis. Text in **bold** is strong emphasis, i.e. shouting.

Thanks to e.helena for the beta!

Chapter Eleven – Be What You Would Seem to Be

"You gonna stare at me all night, or are you going to make love to me?"

Bobby answered her question with a look of surprise that slowly changed to a hesitant smile. He leaned down to kiss her, his forearms supporting him on either side of her shoulders. For a brief moment, he held himself, a hairsbreadth from her lips, looking into her eyes. What he saw there drew him the last way in, their lips meeting, eyes closing.

Alex's arms twined about his neck and if he'd any doubts about what they were about to do they were erased as he felt her fingers thread through his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

He rolled to his side, bringing Alex along with him so that they lay on their sides, face to face. One hand in the softness of her hair, the other exploring the softness of her breast, Bobby nibbled his way across her check to the tender skin behind her ear.

He felt a tightening in his chest that matched the tightening in his groin as his fingers searched and explored the tight peak of her breast through her sweater and bra. Grunting his frustration, Bobby moved to slip under the sweater and bra, filling his hand with the fullness of her breast. He pressed his palm to the pebbled nipple and felt Alex tremble in response.

Bobby jerked in surprise when a tiny hand snaked its way between their torsos and curled around his penis. The sensation of pressure and the friction of the fabric that separated her hand from his flesh was both erotic and maddening. Bucking against her inquisitive fingers, he shuddered, the muscles of his abdomen tightening. Alex withdrew her touch to worm her hand into the waistband of his sweats, grasping him firmly. Finally, flesh on flesh, he thought he might die.

Thrusting against her palm, Bobby felt Alex's fingers work over him from root to tip. He could sense the rising and tightening of his balls that precluded an orgasm and he knew that if he didn't get her tiny but incredibly strong hand off his cock soon, their first physical encounter as lovers would end up being a very brief hand-job.

He wanted more than that for her _and_ for him. Reaching between them, Bobby grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from him.

"Hey," Alex tried to wriggle her hand back to him.

Bobby rolled her onto her back, taking both of her hands in one of his, pinning them to the mattress above her head and looked into her eyes. "Not unless you want this to be over before it begins."

She laughed, the movement of her body against his a wonderful vibration he could feel down to his toes. "Been that long, heh?"

He couldn't help but smile back at her. "Long enough. And with you?" Bobby sighed and then leaned in to kiss her nose. "You take my breath away."

She craned her neck forward and kissed him. "Same here."

He released her hands suddenly and reached for the hem of her sweater, pulling it up and off her, the static electricity causing her hair to snap and crackle. With the fingers of his left hand, he deftly unsnapped the front closure of her satin bra and then used both hands to brush it to the sides.

"These," he reached and cupped her breasts in both hands. "These I've wanted to see for a very long time." He pushed her breasts together then pressed his face into the cleavage he'd created.

Alex gasped and brought her hands to his head, grabbing fistfuls of curls. "You're not smelling me, are you? Cause, I would have showered earlier if I'd known you were going to be sniffing my tits."

"I'm not smelling you," came the mumbled reply. He raised his head to look at her. "I, well, I just can't believe they're mine."

She raised her brows. "Yours?"

He shrugged and bent to run his tongue over one nipple. "Well, metaphorically speaking."

She moaned as his mouth engulfed her right nipple, sucking and tugging at her flesh. "Bobby." Her fingers wove tighter into his hair as she guided him to her other breast where he applied the same treatment. "God love a breast man," she sighed. As he worked the nipple on her left breast, she reached down to caress his back. "And who would have thunk it, what with all those Amazonian bimbos you dated. Thought for sure you were a leg man."

He gave her breast a last kiss on the tip of her nipple and looked up at her. "Oh, I appreciate legs, too." To prove the fact he reached down and pulled her knee up against his thigh, moving her leg up and over the back of his own. He stroked his hand over her hip, down her thigh to her knee and then back again, fingering the waistband of her jeans. "We need to lose these so I can appreciate them even more."

He wasn't at all surprised when Alex pushed him off her and rose to her knees before him, shrugging off her bra. Tugging at his old, torn sweatshirt, she pulled it up and off him in one swift motion. "Not until I get my share, buddy. Tit for tat, so to speak."

His eyes moved to her breasts but he quickly closed them at the feel of her hands stroking his shoulders, chest and biceps. When her fingers tickled their way down his stomach to tug at the strings of his sweatpants, that was Bobby's cue to go to work on the button and zipper of her jeans.

With his sweatpants puddled at his knees and Alex's jeans and panties pulled down over her hips, Bobby pushed her back down onto the mattress. Her toes formed short work of his sweats, pushing them the rest of the way down and off, while he crooked his index fingers, catching both her panties and jeans as he moved them down to where Alex could kick them off.

His eyes raked slowly down and then back up her body, taking in the curves that he'd fantasized about so often. Then in one move, he went for her. It was as if he was two weeks in the desert without water and she was a cold bottle of Dansani. He couldn't seem to get enough of her. Once again he pulled both her hands up over her head, trapping them with his right hand while his left moved to the apex of her thighs, his fingers trailing through moist curls before two fingers pushed inside her.

Through the pounding in his chest and his head, Bobby heard Alex say something, but his lust-filled brain couldn't decipher it. It wasn't until she pulled her wrists from his grasp to press forcefully against his chest that he opened his eyes and focused on her.

Her fingers feathered through his chest chair, stoking softly. "Slow down, Bobby."

He blinked, frowning. "Did I hurt you? Am I hurting you?" He went to roll off of her, but Alex reached around his waist to hold him still.

"No, you're not hurting me." She leaned in to kiss him. "Just, well, it's been a while for me too and," she hesitated, her lips quirked into a small grin. "Well, you're a big man, Bobby."

Bobby glanced down at himself, his erect cock now nestled up between their stomachs. Being nothing if not a modest man he mumbled, "Not all _that_ big."

The laugh that issued from his partner not only shook him but also the bed. "Bobby, you could take out small cities with that thing."

When he continued frowning at her, Alex's smile softened and she ran a hand along his cheek. "You might not have noticed, but I'm not one of those super-models you're used to . . . for lack of a better euphemism . . . dating. Smaller women, especially when they're with a guy your size, need to be treated with a bit more, shall we say, finesse?"

His brow wrinkled as he processed her words. After a moment he nodded, almost to himself. "You mean you need more foreplay?"

Alex snorted, covering the resulting grin with her hand. "Well, yes, that would be nice, Bobby. And at the risk of losing the spontaneity, I think we need to address some of the realities. Do you happen to have any condoms in that nightstand?"

Bobby nodded and both their eyes flashed to the dark polished wood of the small table that was next to the bed. As he reached to open the drawer, Alex stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Any chance you've got some KY or Astroglide in there too?" While the stricken look on his face seemed to answer her question, the resolute look on her face answered his. "Yeah, didn't think so. Well, then, big guy, this might take a little work on my part and some patience on yours."

**To Be Continued**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve – Armaments Chapter, Chapter Two, Verses Nine Through Twenty-One

"Well, then, big guy, this might take a little work on my part and some patience on yours."

At the look on Bobby's face, Alex chuckled. "You're wound up tighter than a Swiss watch, Bobby." With a push on his shoulder he rolled on to his back and she followed. Her hand snaked between their bodies to grasp his cock. "Let's see if we can take the edge off a bit, hmmm?"

The hiss of breath he released as she began to stroke him caused Alex to catch her own breath. She knew it had been a long time since she had had sex, but it would seem it had been even longer for Goren. She detested the purple prose of those romantic novels her sister was always reading, but damn if his cock wasn't the exact definition of a 'hot, throbbing member.'

Kissing her way down his body, Alex marveled at the muscle and mass of the man that now lay beneath her lips. While she would never admit this out loud, his size had never intimidated her so much as it had made her feel overtly feminine. There was just _something_ about a guy who could literally toss you over his shoulder and have his way with you that made her kind of melt a little – and knowing that he was also the kind of guy who would rather cut out his own heart than allow her to get hurt, well, the combination was quite an aphrodisiac.

Working her way down the midline of his body, she felt the muscles of his abdomen tighten as she dipped her tongue into the recess of his navel. Her hand was still stroking him when at last she settled her chin on his hipbone, looking up at him through a curtain of bangs and eyelashes. Wetting her lips, she was amused and more than a little turned on to see him mimic the action, his own tongue peeking out to run along his full bottom lip, his dark brown eyes watching her intently.

Alex felt the warmth of his hand as he cradled the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair, guiding her to where he wanted her. The warm musky smell of him tickled her nose as she let her tongue tease along the slit of his cock. His grip tightened on her skull and she knew that this wasn't going to take very long at all.

As she enveloped the head of his cock in her mouth, she reached back to softly roll his balls between her fingers. His thighs parted, giving her more access and she suckled as much of him as she could into her mouth, her other hand squeezing and pumping the base.

Much of what Bobby was now muttering Alex couldn't quite make out. There was an "Oh, fuck" and an "Oh, God" and a fair amount of thanks given to her parents for the begetting of her, but mostly it was lots of grunting and heavy breathing, all of which assured her that he was thoroughly enjoying himself. And she was too, for that matter. There was something very empowering about providing that much pleasure to someone; knowing that you were the one in control of every single sensation that was coursing through them, bringing them to the edge and then over it.

Alex could tell Bobby was trying not to thrust, trying not to overwhelm her. She also knew he was trying desperately to hold back. He wasn't going to last much longer, but he also wasn't willing to go down, so to speak, without a fight.

Figuring that being senior partner should have some privileges, she decided that it was time to bring this to a resolution. Bobby Goren was damn well going to come and he was going to come now.

So, tongue swirling, cheeks sucking, she moved a finger back to stroke slowly around his anus. Bobby's reaction was instantaneous and overwhelming – he thrust into her mouth, thigh muscles seizing, fingers grasping her head tightly to him, and came.

She waited several minutes before pulling away from him, laying her cheek on his still-trembling stomach. He took a deep breath and crooked his head to look at her. Smiling up at him, Alex wiped daintily at the corners of her mouth. "Now we can take our time and—"

Her words were cut off when he suddenly reached under her armpits and dragged her up his body, his mouth meeting hers in a desperate kiss. His hands dropped to grab her ass, pulling her against him.

She pulled back, her eyes wide. "You can't possibly—"

Bobby gave her a sly grin and pinched her on the right butt cheek. "You have a strong effect on me, Alexandra."

"It would seem so," she chuckled, struggling half-heartedly in his embrace. "No wonder the steno pool is thinking of building a shrine to you in the ladies room."

His frowned suddenly, loosening his hold. "Alex, I . . . I don't want you to think--"

"Bobby," she admonished. She tucked some long strands of her bangs behind her ear and shrugged. "Neither of us are kids. We've both been around the block . . . some of us have apparently been around the world . . ." At his look she rushed on. "But that's okay, really. We're both coming to each other with a lot of baggage, romantically as well as personally and professionally."

Bobby narrowed his eyes, his hands stroking down her thighs and back up to grasp her hips. "This sounds dangerously like 'talking.'"

Alex smiled sheepishly. "It does and that's because it is." When Bobby started to argue she cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "Look, despite your best intentions, it doesn't look like Godzilla down there is quite ready for a march through Tokyo, so I don't think it will kill us to talk a bit about what we've gotten ourselves into."

"Speak for yourself," Bobby growled, his hands moving to caress her waist and ribs. "I've waited a long time to get you naked and in bed, fantasized about it more times than I care to mention . . . sometimes even in meetings with Ross. Don't ask," he added at her look. "And you know what? Talking was never, ever a part of a single one of those fantasies."

"Color me shocked," Alex gasped dramatically, raising a brow. She rolled on to her side and out of his grasp. "For some unfathomable reason you seem to think this is all going to be so _EASY_ ... "

Having rolled on to his side to face her, Bobby frowned. "Trust me, Alex, I know that nothing involving the two of us is ever going to be easy. But we love each other, so that's a check mark on the positive side of the ledger, right?"

"Yeah, but it also means we have even more to deal with." She leaned back, brushing the bangs from her eyes. "Trust me, Bobby, if it was just us being fuck-buddies, it would never have taken us this long to get together."

"We have a lot going for us." He argued. "We know each other—"

"Maybe too well," she countered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Bobby rolled over to look down into her face.

She smiled softly, reaching up to run a finger along his jaw. "We know all of each other's secrets, Bobby. Normally it takes years for couples to get to that stage. But here we are, in a very new ... 'relationship'. We both have great big fucking targets painted on our backs. And we're both armed to the teeth."

He lips twitched and he frowned. "I wouldn't ever—"

"No, see - you already have!" She paused to let her words sink in. She didn't really want to rehash the fiasco of his undercover operation, but she wasn't going to just sweep it under the rug either. "Bobby, you said it earlier -- you hurt me, and you know as much as you don't want to, as much as you try not to, you're going to hurt me again. And you know what? There's a good chance along the way I'm going to hurt you too; let you down. It could so easily happen, especially in our line of work."

She watched him ponder this, his dark eyes closing for a moment before opening to gaze at her. "Yes, you're right, we are going to hurt each other. It's inevitable, we're human. But I just can't image _anything_ that you could do to me that would make me stop loving for you."

There was such conviction in his voice that it make Alex's chest ache. She wiped away a tear that was threatening to travel down her cheek, giving Bobby a rather watery grin. "Who knew?" She playfully punched him in the shoulder. "Big, old tough major case detective is just an old romantic softy. Hmmmm, hard and crunchy outside, soft and chewy inside. Goren, you're a Tootsie Pop!"

She watched as he chuckled, his eyes narrowing at her. "I'll show you hard," he growled, looming over her.

"No, no," she laughed, squirming under the attack of his fingers along her ribs. Sitting up she pushed at his shoulder. "I can't possibly go another round with your Mighty Python of Love without something to drink."

"Monty Python of Love?" Bobby stared at her, mouth agape.

Alex laughed so hard she snorted, then fell back on to the bed, her hands clutching her stomach. "Mighty, Goren, not Monty. _MIGHTY_. I need to stop babysitting for my nephew," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "The only thing my sister has at her house to read are those damn romance novels. I'm being corrupted."

Bobby stood up from the bed, leaning over her as he braced himself with hands on either side of her head. Dipping down he pressed his mouth to hers, smothering her giggles. Pulling back he gave her a lopsided grin. "You still want a drink?"

She bit her lower lip, smiling and nodding.

"Beer?" he offered. She crinkled her nose at him. "I think there might be some of that fruity stuff, that vodka you brought last time you were over . . . for the Hansen case?"

She sat up, almost bumping heads with him, clapping her hands. "The Smirnoff Watermelon Twist?"

It was Bobby's turn to crinkle his nose. "If you say so." He didn't try to hide the disdain in his voice.

"Good," Alex said, falling back on the bed, her breasts bouncing. She noticed Bobby's eyes focus on her chest and wagged a finger at him. "Not until I get my drink, buster." She pulled the sheet up over herself then reached a leg out to poke him in the midsection with her big toe.

His laughter shook the bed, but he obeyed her as any good second in command would, standing up and trotting off buck-naked to fetch her drink. Pausing at the doorway he turned back to her, his eyes darkening although he still wore a grin.

Leaning nonchalantly against the door jam, Bobby's gaze traveled leisurely down Alex's barely covered torso and she could have swore she felt a flicker of heat as his eyes moved over her. She squirmed a little under his intense perusal.

When at last his eyes journeyed back up to meet hers, he titled his head slightly before giving her a slow wink. "When I get back, Alexandra? I'm going to do some corrupting of my own."

**To Be Continued**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen – Out Where a Friend is a Friend

Bobby returned to the bedroom, Alex's drink in hand, and frowned at the bed and the emptiness he found there. The tangled sheets looked to have been casually tossed aside and the imprint of Alex's body was still visible. Running water drew his attention to the bathroom and the sliver of light under the door.

Placing the glass on the side table, he moved with a grace belying his size to stand to beside the door. The doorknob jiggled and the door creaked open and Alex stepped out. The moment he saw the smooth expanse of her back, he pounced.

She squealed as he wrapped his arms around her, trapping her own arms and lifting her aloft. Her heel pummeling his shins, she squirmed within his embrace. He groaned as the movements brought her ass up against his groin and, holding her tight, he strode over to the bed.

"What the fuc—"

For the second time that night he tossed Alex into the middle of his bed, this time silencing her protests by immediately stretching out on top of her, his lips finding hers. She struggled against him half-heartedly for a second or two, before her hands came up to clutch at his shoulders.

"No fair." She complained, as his mouth traveled to the tender spot behind her right ear.

"Never said I'd play fair," Bobby grunted, nuzzling her hair and breathing in the soft scent of her.

Her hands stroked along his skin, fingers caressing the muscles of his arms and back. "No," she murmured, tasting the skin of his neck with tiny nibbles and licks. "You didn't. But I thought you were a gentleman, Bobby. Is that any way to treat a lady?" She couldn't quite keep the humor out of her voice.

Bobby glanced up and found he could see her eyes even in the darkness of the room. The shadows played over the paleness of her skin, highlighting the fine bone structure of her face, the taut lines of the muscles in her neck, and soft curve of her breasts. His fingers moved there, brushing against her until she strained upward into the cup of his hand.

"You're right, Alex." His eyes moved to watch her flesh pebble and rise beneath his fingertips. "I've been remiss."

His mouth found her skin again as he moved down her. He took his time, his lips mapping the contours of her body. He knew this woman; knew what made her tick, what made her angry, what made her smile. But this – his mouth tasting the sweetness of her, his fingers tangling in moist curls – this was a mystery. A mystery he relished unraveling, caressing the clues from her body; finding out exactly what made her shiver, made her moan, made her come.

He suckled at the skin of her inner thigh, feeling her legs quivering against him. His long fingers slid along her labia, opening her for him. When he moved his mouth to her core, thrusting his tongue within her, she shuddered, pulling her knees up to cradle his head as her hands grabbed fistfuls of his hair.

This was no shy violet, trembling in his hands – this was a woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it, with strong hands that guided him in his exploration and her toward fulfillment. When she pulled her knees up, her thighs cradling his head, giving him even more access to her, Bobby felt his cock harden to the point of pain. Wanting to stay focused on the woman writhing beneath him, but desperate for the relief of friction, he thrust against the sheets.

The trembling in her legs grew, her thighs tightening, tightening . . . and then Bobby moved. His tongue slid along swollen flesh to work against her clit, two long fingers entering her, curling, pressing, and bringing her to the edge and then over it.

He continued mouthing her, his fingers working in and out of her, as she came down from her orgasm. When her thighs fell aside and her hands loosened from his head, he placed his chin in the crease where her thigh met her hip and smiled up at her.

She was still breathing hard, her face and chest flushed and rosy, when she opened her eyes and looked down at him. "You still have any hair?"

He chuckled, crawling like a lion up her body until their noses touched. "I think I might need a little help hiding those two bald patches."

"Sorry," Alex stated casually. "Let's see if there's some way I can make it up to you, or," she reached between their bodies and took a firm grip on his cock. "Make you forget about it?"

At the feel of her small hand circling him, Bobby groaned. His head fell to her shoulder and he thrust against her.

Alex laughed softly, giving him a soft bite on his earlobe. "No, Bobby, this is too good a hard-on to waste on a hand-job."

There were a few inelegant moments of condom retrieval and application, and then she was under him again; her hips bucking, her legs wrapping around his hips, her hand beginning to guide him into the warmth of her body.

Bobby pushed up, levering his body onto his forearms, to look down at her. "Is this okay, are you—"

Alex's answer was to grab his ass with both hands, pulling him down and into her. The tight heat of her overrode what little part of his brain was still functioning and he began to thrust.

"Okay, Ow!"

At the sound of her distress, Bobby jerked back. Before he could pull free of her body, however, Alex gripped his shoulders and held him still. "Now, don't go getting that kicked puppy look . . . I'm fine. I'm just rethinking this and invoking my right as a woman to change my mind. Roll over."

Before he could process her words, Alex pushed against his left shoulder with her right hand and dug the heel of her right foot into the bed and neatly rolled him onto his back. That she ended up astride him was amazing. That he remained inside her was nothing short of a miracle.

Alex must have agreed, because she began to ride him hard, wringing the pleasure from his body with each rise and fall of her hips. Bobby tried to participate, bucking his hips up as she drove down upon him, but ultimately he just relaxed back and let her have her way with him, his hands gripping her hips.

Despite the differences in their size, Alex mastered him and wrung him dry. Her slender thighs gripping, working feverishly against him. Her tiny hands grabbing his shoulders, leaning forward to present the tantalizing view of her breasts bouncing just out of his lip's reach. Then, rearing up, she began to caress her own body, palms grazing over his and then up her waist to her ribs and at last reaching to cup her breasts. She moved like that, her fingers tweaking her nipples, as a glistening of sweat rose on her skin.

Bobby was done. Finished. Crumbling fast. Far too fast.

Feeling his own orgasm peak and crest, Bobby moved his left hand from Alex's hip to her clit, his thumb pressing down, his hips bucking up forcefully. As he finished spending he felt her tightening around him, her climax coming hard and fast, and then she slumped against him, her breasts flattening against his chest.

They laid there like that for several minutes, Alex's body boneless and still against him, his arms around her. When at last it seemed she could move again, she shifted to lay beside him, giving a few unladylike grunts in the process.

He pulled her close into him, his chin nestling in her hair, listening to the slowing of her heart beat. "You okay?"

Peeking up at him through her tousled bangs, Alex grinned. "My cervix may never forgive you, Bobby. But the rest of me? Pretty much your love slave."

**To Be Continued**


End file.
